Confidence versus Obnoxiousness

As I talk with other recruiting and human resources professionals, there is always a story that comes up as “one for the books”. Most of the time, the “ones for the book” usually have a negative connotation to it, but there are some positive aspects if one has a good sense of humor.

Since we deal with different types of people and personalities, our cynicism may come out a little bit and distort our perception of candidates. Every recruiter is guilty of this and has done this in the past. Recently, I was at a recruiting event at a large, local university as juniors were looking for summer internships. These days it seems everyone is competing for internships, or a chance to work for a good, stable company. With that being said, I meet more graduating seniors and graduate students looking for internship opportunities to gain experience in lieu of the juniors.

One such person sticks out in my mind. To give you a visual, think the voice of a Phillip Seymour Hoffman with the looks of an Andy Richter/Chris Farley, but not nearly as funny or charming. The person walks up to my table with an insincere smile on his face and proceeds to introduce himself and tell me all about himself and his work experience (as he was a graduate student) without telling me how he got to graduate school or what made him successful. After politely telling this person that we are considering full-time students for internships but would be interested in holding onto his resume should a more, appropriate position come up, he gave me his insincere smile again and said to me “Well, this conversation’s over,” and walked away. Never had I experienced a reaction like that as for the most part people extend the courtesy of a thank you. This indeed was going to be “one for the books” in my mind so I spoke with other recruiters with whom this person visited at the on-campus recruiting event. I found that these other recruiters got a similar reaction.

Was this person confident or obnoxious? The consensus was that the candidate needed to improve on both his social and selling abilities. There was no lack of confidence in this candidate, but the level of obnoxiousness was turned up. What prompted the candidate to say that the conversation was over, was the question I asked, which was simply “If you are a successful manager, what techniques could you potentially bring to my company?” My hope is that the candidate will learn how to put more relevance in his confidence approach to counterbalance the level of obnoxiousness. So, to answer the question (like most graduate school answers  ) is that it depends on what the recruiter perceives in expressions of confidence.

Confident people tend to answer questions and give examples in a calm yet enthusiastic manner. Obnoxious people tend to show their insecurities through being brash and abrasive in terms of telling their stories on experience and why they should be hired. Confident people take rejection with poise while obnoxious people tend to be a little more emotional and compensate for overselling in other areas. As a recruiter, I will usually tend to go to bat for candidates who exude confidence but may lack the skills that we are looking for in our current needs. It’s a great way to build relationship and a testament to hire strategically versus a plug and play approach. Obnoxious candidates usually do not get that chance as recruiters can see that big chip on your shoulder.

In reading this blog post, how should one identify in their own mind if they fall in the confident or obnoxious category? Think of it in this light – how often do you get together with your friends and do your friends go out of their way to contact you for special events? Do you find yourself always planning events for your group of friends? If you are the one “feeling left out” because you’re never invited to go out socially, then it may be due to having the proverbial “chip on your shoulder” and proving your worth at all times. People are not drawn to that. One hiring manager I work with asked that I seek out candidates with “humility” for his sales position because having someone who is humble will be able to relate better to the customer in an emotional sale. Someone who is humble is confident in their abilities and not always asking someone to tell them how good they are. Humility will move you more toward the confident category and away from obnoxiousness. So, in your next interview as a candidate be confident by showing your humility by not overacting on describing your accomplishments. Recruiters can also refrain from being obnoxious by staying even-keeled throughout the interview process while maintaining a high-level of enthusiasm.